Showing posts with label my past. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my past. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Random Memories #8


Three young women who posed appropriately for us outside of Budokan.

On April 21, 1988, I attended my first concert in Japan at Nippon Budokan hall. This show coincidentally occurred during a planned one-month vacation to “meet” my pen pal boyfriend (and current husband of 23 years) for the first time. I had been a KISS fan since around 1977, but my days as a “true” fan had ended with my graduation from college. I still liked them and remained a collector of interesting items, but the level of adoration and fanaticism I'd had had sharply fallen. Frankly, by this time, I'd become disillusioned and never would have let the concert dictate when I went to Japan. I was much more excited with and thrilled to finally be in person with this guy I'd fallen in love with at a distance than I was to be seeing KISS. To some extent, that is reflected in what you're about to read.

Though I wasn't the fan I once was, I did do some writing and artwork occasionally for a KISS fanzine or two. Yes, I was a "writer" even then. While going through old correspondence, I found a typed account that I wrote shortly after attending the show and I believe it was done for a fanzine (though I can't recall if it was ever published). The review reflects some truths and some ignorance about Japan, as well as my sense that KISS's shtick had grown rather wearisome in places. I'll be adding in notes from the present in parentheses in italics as commentary (like this) and placing certain things in context for those who weren't fans and can't know why something was mentioned. Anything not in italics is from 1988 when I knew about as much, likely far more, as a person would ever need to know about KISS, and very little about Japan. Little did I know what the future would hold for me in terms of Japan and gaining experience with the culture. As far as I knew at the time, this was all for the memory books and I had no plans to ever go back again.

For reference, for those who don't know KISS (and I'm sure there are plenty of them), KISS used to wear kabuki-style/clown-style make-up which they removed in the late 80's. References to “the old days” in any way refer to their days in make-up. There are 4 members in the band, two of whom are original (Gene, singer and bassist, and Paul, singer and guitarist) and two of whom were new (Eric, the drummer, and Bruce, the lead guitarist). The latter two were essentially hired hands and unequal partners in the group and are no longer with the band. Eric died due to complications from cancer and Bruce was dismissed around the time KISS put their make-up back on for “reunion” tours.

When I found this article, I felt as though I found a version of "me" that didn't exist anymore. That is, one that saw Japan completely through the eyes of a tourist and had no access to resources such as blogs or Wikipedia. It is an important reminder of how perspective is often ill-informed, even when you believe you are operating from a place of knowledge. I had been told for 9 months about life in Japan from my boyfriend and he was, in turn, informed by his brother who had lived there for around 5 years and knew even more. I wasn't a neophyte, but there were still things I got "wrong". It's this sort of thing that helps me keep perspective even now. There is always something you don't know or an experience you haven't had. There are always conclusions that you reach that are either wrong or subject to debate. This sort of thing helps keep me humble. 

A photocopy of our tickets for the show, printed on an old dot matrix printer, as was the style at the time.

KISS Concert Reflections (Budokan, April, 21, 1988)

I go to a new KISS show each year hoping to see certain things resurface and certain things disappear from the previous year. My opinion of what constitutes a great KISS show is no more golden than anyone's so please don't blast me for being happy about things that didn't show up at the Budokan Hall on April 21, 1988, but did show up in Pittsburgh, PA on January 16, 1988. (I'm comparing two different KISS shows that I had seen in close proximity as well as trying to mitigate the attacks I might get from fans who can't bear any negative talk about KISS.) I can't help but be happy that some of my dreams of what a KISS show might be were realized. It's too bad that I had to go to Tokyo to see it.

The atmosphere and the view outside the arena are rather appropriate places to begin. As fans scaled the hill from the subway (almost nobody drives to concerts in Japan... forget your post-concert traffic jam and replace it with a people jam) (I should have said “in Tokyo”, not “in Japan”) to the scenic gateway of the Budokan., they are greeted by bootleg vendors hawking everything but the much vaunted T-shirt (my guess now is that the bootleggers had “an (unofficial) understanding”, as is so often the case in Japan). Perhaps this is a wise decision on the bootleggers' part since it places them in a non-competitive position with official merchandise. Myriads of mylar photo stickers from 1977 to present, canvas tote bags, engraved necklaces and poor quality plastic key chains were among the items offered. Bootleggers are immediately followed by food vendors selling seafood omelets and corndogs to hungry concertgoers (since food and drink are not sold inside the concert halls in Japan) (little did I know that okonomiyaki stands were the norm nearly everywhere including outside of shrines and I didn't really comprehend that food and drink probably were not permitted to keep the hall clean).

Japanese fans poured out of the subway in excited seas of black hair (save the odd magnificently dyed red and blond long-haired men) with excitement rarely met by the, generally, more laid back U.S. crowds (This is likely because American concert goers span a range of people that include fanatics to those who just go to shows for the sake of drinking and getting high rather than are made up of pure “fans” of a band). However, I'd like to dispel the myth about about the mindset of the Japanese fan. A fellow U.S. fan once told me that fans in Japan “blew away” U.S. Fans in dedication, loyalty, and excitement level. This may be true, but let's not reach any conclusions hastily. To be realistic, you'd be pretty damn excited too if you hadn't seen your favorite band for 10 years and the majority of the material as well as half the band was new to you.

This guy was outside of a show I did not attend at the Tokyo Olympic Pool, not Budokan,  but it's a nice picture so I'm using it. Note the 80's faded denim, as was the style at the time. 

A fan in a plastic Gene Halloween mask met fans inside the entrance way to the Budokan on the first night at that venue and 3 girls showed up in make-up the second night, but there were otherwise no “throw-backs” to KISS's previous era. Girls in blue “Udo Enterprises” (the concert promoter) aprons beckoned to passing fans to purchase tour programs (devoid of photos of femme fatales) (the U.S. Tour programs included a lot of pictures of scantily clad women draped all over the band members but this tasteless display was omitted from the Japaense programs) and T-shirts. Oddly, fans could purchase such merchandise without even buying a ticket to the show since the booths were outside the arena. (In the U.S., we could only buy such merchandise inside of the concert venue at that time, I can't speak to how it is these days as I haven't gone to a concert in the U.S. for a long time.) Gene and Paul shirts featured excellent graphics and a lack of female companionship for the shirt's title characters (again, American shirts from this tour showed barely clothed women on them). Other shirts listed tour dates and headlined this leg of the tour. Prices were amazingly comparable to those in the U.S. (considering the cost of living there is one and a half times that here). Albums and compact discs were sold inside the arena with an accompanying promo poster and a display for the release of Chikara was set up to tease fans. (“Chikara” was the name of a Japan-only “greatest hits” compilation CD that KISS released. It was an awesome collectible and those who were able to buy one upon release got a cloth patch with the Japanese symbol for “power”, chikara, from some shops which is very hard to find nowadays.)

A concert hall is a concert hall, correct? Well... pretty much so. However, how many U.S. Concert halls have the American flag hanging in the center of them? I don't believe that too many do since concerts are festivals of rebellion rather than paeans of dedication to country. The Budokan Hall has the flag of Japan proudly and patronizingly hung high in the center just in case the fans forget where they are and decide to stand on their seats, grapple for stage souvenirs, or step into the aisles for any reason other than a momentary misstep. (This was an amazingly ethnocentric and ill-informed comment from me at that time. I did not know Nippon Budokan was no mere concert hall, but a national hall in which sporting events for traditional martial arts were often held. I operated based largely on the notion that rock bands performed there. My comment is a good illustration of how you can get things wrong from too little information/experience with a culture. I figured the end and beginning of understanding what Budokan was all about came from "Cheap Trick's at Budokan" album.) Don't get me wrong. The fans had tremendous fun. I had great fun. You just have to make sure that you have it in the floor space of your arranged seating. Floor seats are watched by a myriad of militant ushers while those with seats in the balcony couldn't locate a helpful usher to save their soul. Someone should have warned us that all of the seating instructions were in Japanese. (This is one of those “ugly American” things that we say because we feel entitled to have things served up to us in the manner that is convenient for us. It was absurd to expect it in English and I certainly shouldn't have expected to be accommodated just because it was an American band. Now, I know better and am more humble about such things, but then, well, that's where I was mentally.) The ever helpful fans eventually obliged us in finding our seats shortly before announcements (in Japanese) were made to the effect that the show would be canceled if even light-weight mayhem ensued. The lights went out and the high-pitched screams went on.

We now get to the parts I was happy to see absent. First, there was no opening act which I've generally regarded as a nuisance prior to the main event. What was obviously absent, however, was the presence of stories about trips to the doctor, Levi's 501 jeans, and how you never “lick it down.” (Those all refer to tedious sexual patter that were common in KISS shows throughout their career.) Pauls' dialogue was refreshingly clean and Gene left the “World's Greatest F**k” jacket somewhere else that evening. (I censored that, but the real jacket, which he wore in America, was not censored.) After years of this type of tour fare, I was pleased to see the repetitive banter absent. Not so happily missed was the pyrotechnics which were surely prohibited at the Budokan. (It was no shock that there were no indoor fireworks. I don't believe they would have been tolerated in an enclosed hall like Budokan.)

Gene and Paul tried a little Japanese language on their largely uncomprehending audience. It's not that they were speaking improperly so much as the Japanese people often fail to understand the most flawless enunciation of their words. (Some things don't change with perspective. This is still a “truth” about life in Japan for foreigners.) Nonetheless, their efforts were met with hearty applause and screams. Pauls' usual “how do you feel” query went largely ignored but the fans happily parroted him and sang along to all songs. (I'm surprised he bothered to ask or expect they'd understand.) When Paul hinted that “I Was Made for Lovin' You” (which they seemed too embarrassed to play there) would be the next song, everyone in the hall figured out what was to be played before me. Eric shined for his first performance to a Japanese audience and obligingly sang “Black Diamond” so they might sample his vocal abilities as U.S. Audiences once (happily) did. His name was chanted by the audience after his solo, illustrating that he'd won this new crowd over heart and soul.

KISS themselves seemed to make few concessions to the Japanese strictness except for when it came to guitar bashing at the end of the show. (There was a prolonged smashing of a pre-broken guitar in U.S. shows). Paul broke the guitar and threw the pieces into the barrier between the band and the audience for the ushers to safely carry away. This was apparently an effort to avoid fights in the audience over the concert keepsakes. Random guitar picks were also quickly scooped up lest an overzealous fan decide to scale the barricade and snatch one up. (This is such a Japanese thing – no mess and no chaos. Order at all costs. I wonder if all rock concerts are like this or they were just more cautious for KISS and in Budokan because they can have raucous shows and it's a culturally important place.)

The show was frustratingly short (about an hour and a half) for what was approximately a $40.00 ticket. (At the time, that was a lot of money.) Regardless, it was still incredible fun with near perfect official merchandise. A KISS is still a KISS whatever the country... this time, they just decided to keep their tongues in their mouths. (This was my way of saying that the band had to behave themselves in Japan, which they did.)

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Will Miss #434 - (special) memory cues

My first month in Japan was spent in Kita-Senju, and going there always awakens a lot of good memories.

If you could live in a place which connected you to the absolute best time of your life on a regular basis, wouldn't you want to live there? I wrote about how I originally came to Japan back in 1988 and spent a month with my then boyfriend (now husband) on a vacation which was so wonderful that it seemed like a dream. I have very specific and unique memories of my time in Japan during that month. Since Japanese people have a high desire for novelty, it is actually quite rare for anything to remain the same for long. The clothes I saw and bought, the food I ate, and the places I visited have changed since that time. In fact, my husband and I went back and visited the place where he lived at that time, and it was quite different, but some of those places really sparked strong feelings. Recently, perhaps because such things have a life cycle, I encountered not one but two things which I connected to that time. One was a housecoat which my husband bought me back then. The design is old-fashioned, and I hadn't seen it in decades. The other was a package of blueberry pies which my husband bought during that visit, but hadn't purchased since then. We hadn't seen them for years and years. Japan will always be the place where I first met the man I loved face to face and had a first month which was as close to heaven as I'll ever know on earth.

I will miss random encounters with things which remind me of that very special time because I'll never see them again after I leave Japan.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Random Thoughts: Gilligan's Island

When you live in Japan, people make an assumption about why you are here. More often than not, they fill the gap in their knowledge with their own motivation or ones that they are familiar with based on what others have said or they have read. Some people come here because they love aspects of Japanese culture, especially manga, anime, or pop culture. Others follow a dream of knowing this "exotic" culture better after falling love with it from afar. Yet others have a Japanese friend or romantic partner that sparked their interest in this country and they followed them here. Only a very few people know why I'm here, and I'm pretty sure none of my readers know. However, the fact that I approach life in Japan with a very different attitude than most people may be better understood if I explain how I got here.

I will start by saying that I had zero interest in Japan when I first came here. That's right. ZERO. In 1987, I had a penpal from California who I fell in love with. He and I exchanged cassette tapes with each of us talking to one another rather than writing letters. We started off speaking for about 45 minutes to an hour on 60-minutes tapes, and moved up to marathons which had us cramming several 90-minute tapes into packages. We talked a lot and knew each other better than most people know one another face-to-face. When all you have is talk, you explore every facet of conversation and information about each other.

My penpal's charm was so beguiling that I fell for him when I listened to the second tape that he sent me, but I was not going to risk putting my feelings out there. To make a long story (a very long one) short, about 6 months later, he admitted he felt the same way about me and we decided we wanted to be together in the flesh. Unfortunately, his admission (on July 18th) came after signing a contract to spend a year teaching in Japan starting in August. He had just graduated from university and the job looked appealing so he took it, and we were facing a forced year apart in different countries rather than simply on opposite coasts (I was in Pennsylvania) because he had to honor this commitment.

My penpal-boyfriend, who I'd never looked in the eye but was madly in love with, flew off to Japan and we burdened the postal service with package after package with tapes and care packages. I sent him food and reading material from home. He sent me amazing Japanese collectibles pertaining to my favorite rock group. And we both ached to actually be together.

Though I was quite poor and not making a lot of money at my first job at a halfway house for mentally ill people (taking advantage of my degree in psychology), I saved enough money to arrange to come to Japan and finally meet him in March 1988. The only reason I came here was to meet him. Japan was just the place he was living in and where I had to go to finally see him. I'm sure that many can imagine how many butterflies I had associated with this experience. What is more, people around me were constantly warning me about how dangerous what I was doing was going to be. I wasn't just coming to meet someone I'd never met face-to-face but had a relationship with, but I was going to be staying in the same tiny Japanese apartment with him for an entire month.

At this point, some of my readers might be anticipating a story of disastrous first meeting and painful disappointment. That wasn't what happened. It was the greatest month of my entire life, a honeymoon  filled with joy and every expectation about what my boyfriend was like exceeded. He was brilliant. We got along wonderfully and had perfect chemistry emotionally and physically. It was a dream that was so incredible that I sometimes couldn't believe I'd actually lived it. And, yes, I later married that man and have been incredibly happy with him since that time.

Japan was incidental, not my great passion. When my future husband finished his contract and returned to his home in California, I joined him and we lived there for 10 months. We did not exactly flourish in that setting and based on how things went for him in Japan, we both decided to come back together for a five-year plan. The idea was to pay off our student loans and to save $50,000 in that time frame. Japan was an interesting place to be, but it was more a place to work. I had no idea at that time what living here was going to mean psychologically and only knew superficially about the culture, but I had that month of heaven to draw on as a lure to return. Also, my husband flew to Japan alone after our wedding and secured a job for himself so we were already halfway there.

The original plan of 5 years and $50,000 fell by the wayside as we both grew comfortable with the lifestyle and circumstances. We decided to stay as long as it felt "right" rather than place arbitrary limits on our time here. I cannot and will not go into the fluctuations in priorities, feelings, and situations which lead to us being here far longer than originally planned (about 23 years). I would need to write an entire book to talk about it all or to start a new blog that I'd have to work at for years to tell the entire tale, but suffice it to say that life is more complex than short talks of "reasons" can convey. We haven't just "lived in Japan" during all of this time, but we have also lived a full, rich life which has been satisfying on multiple levels. Being in Japan played a role in that, but it wasn't the end-all and be-all of it. If you think living in Japan is supposed to only be about Japan, then you're missing out on a fuller sense of what it means to exist and be a human being.

Japan is where I happen to live, but it's not necessarily why I live here. It's not that it isn't an interesting place to live in many, many ways, but I'm not "in love" with it as many people are. I ended up here because I was in love with someone who happened to be here and happened to think it was a good idea to come back. This means my perspective is not altered by a need to frame it in a particular manner (positively or negatively). Japan ended up being a place where I could experience a great deal of personal growth and a gold mine for someone who is interested in psychology. It has been the opportunity of a lifetime in that way, but there are fascinating opportunities to explore psychology everywhere.

Being in Japan for me has been like that fateful journey on the S.S. Minnow piloted by the Skipper and his first mate Gilligan. They bargained for a three-hour tour, but ended up on an island living a very different existence than they expected for a much longer time. I planned on staying here for 5 years, but it ended up being more than I expected and was harder to leave than one might anticipate. I like living here, and am very happy with my life, but I didn't come here out of abject adoration of Japan and it's not why I remain here. I stay here because it continues to offer unique personal learning and growth opportunities. I'll be going when I think I've tapped that potential, and that's what I'd be doing no matter where I was living.

I'm opening up comments on this post (only) because I want to allow people to share their reasons for coming to Japan if they would like. Please keep in mind, when commenting, why I generally don't allow comments, and please keep comments on this topic rather than comment on other posts.