Won't Miss #522 - my neighbors

The yellow and fake brick building had our former apartment. The cement wall defines the edge of our neighbors home. Their front door was about a meter (about three feet) from the edge of the wall closest to us.

It should be noted before I indulge in this particular whinging session that I lived in Tokyo for the duration of my 23 years. I'm sure that living in other places would have afforded a different experience, but I can only speak from my own subjective state of mind. If I could break into someone else's head and steal their perspective... well, I wouldn't do that because I have enough trouble with my own version of reality... If I could, I'd probably have a different idea right now.

At any rate, my neighbors were right behind my living room double glass doors. Their front door was about eight feet (2.4 m.) from mine - literally. They also had a tendency to stand in front of their home and have long and loud conversations. It was, again, literally, like they were in the same house with me in terms of the volume and the sense of personal space.

Beyond the fact that they were fairly oblivious to the concept that you could invite someone into your home to have conversations or speak at a volume which didn't carry halfway across the block, they also complained to our landlord if we listened to music or T.V. too loudly for their delicate sensibilities. Apparently, it's okay to have bombastic chats with people, but not to watch "Star Wars" at relatively high volume in order to get the full aural effect. Finally, there was the smoking issue. With units being so small, most people smoked outside so as not to stink up their own places, so they stood on their balconies and it wafted downward to our window. In the U.S., houses tend to be far enough apart that this isn't quite as bad as it was in Tokyo.

I don't miss the experience of living in such close proximity to people that their habits can't help but interfere with my daily life. 

Will Miss #509 - neighborly behavior

Some qualities of an experience are so subtle and hard to describe that language, no matter how precise, will mislead the reader. I've found this to be the case many times while writing this blog, especially when it comes to titles. Brevity is a virtue, and I think many writers would do well to say less than they do, but it also increases the chance that one will be misunderstood. This topic is one of those in which I am walking a thin tightrope between conveying something that undermines the manner in which Americans are neighborly and overestimates the way in which Japanese are. 

In both Japan and the U.S., I have lived/am living in an apartment complex. That means that people who live in the building will occasionally pass by me. In Japan, with rare exceptions, most people would give a friendly greeting when we walked by or respond in kind when we offered a greeting first. This was in no way an indication of friendship, but a perfunctory act of civility. The fact that people always responded to "ohayo gozaimasu" (good morning) with a similar reply carried a certain feeling of balance and comfort.

In the U.S., my experience has been greatly less uniform in this regard. A handful of people are friendly and reply in kind, but some seem actually irritated or taken aback when I say, "good afternoon" to them. The sense I get is that, though we occupy the same apartment complex, they feel burdened by having to interact with me in a minimal fashion. They would rather we walked past one another with downcast eyes as if we were random strangers passing on a street. The inconsistency of response makes you feel some stress when you greet people, and lowers the chance that you'll do it at all which in turn creates a colder atmosphere in general.

I don't think it's asking too much that people who see each other around the same little patch of land on a regular basis exchange a few words in greeting, and certainly it seemed in Japan for the most part that they subscribed to this belief as well. I miss the way in which social propriety carried a sense of being neighborly. 

Will Miss #413 - Akiho

The experience of living anywhere is both small and big, personal and impersonal, and subjective with objective elements. People sometimes ask me why I write this blog and there are many reasons. One is to remember this time in my life with attention to my experiences and thoughts and feelings about them. That means that there are things which are unique to where I live that no one else will likely ever experience, and one of those is a neighbor of mine named "Akiho".

Akiho is a young man who stands outside of his old apartment building lifting a large and growing collection of weights. He always smiles and speaks English to me. Sometimes while lifting his weights, he reads aloud from a book of English with advanced content. Often, it's either insanely cold or insanely hot, but he's inappropriately attired for the climate and says he's not uncomfortable. He once dyed his hair blond and dyed it back to black. The energy that surrounds him is incredibly affable, almost jolly, even though his actions might be considered odd, particularly by Japanese standards.

Akiho is a bundle of a lot of the things that Japan and the Japanese people are both realistically and stereotypically. He's a little weird, but not threatening. He's trying to be helpful (speaking English), but not intrusive. He's sunny, but not annoyingly peppy. I'll miss seeing Akiho lifting his weights outside of his building, greeting me, and smiling. 

Won't Miss #344 - futon beating

In addition to being pretty uncomfortable, futon need to be aired out regularly in order to get all of the cooties out of them. Fortunately, I have a bed, but that doesn't stop me from experiencing the second-hand "joy" of futon beating. When my neighbors whack the hell out of their futons or order to chase out all of the creepy crawlies, they do it so loudly that I can't have a conversation with a student over the pounding. Additionally, the upstairs neighbors send down a rain of dust from their balcony to mine, and mine often has my clean laundry drying on it. There's nothing like transferring their dust mites to my undies. The thrashing they give their bedding is so hard that I wonder if this is the way in which women get out all of their frustration from days filled with "gaman".

I won't miss the noise or flotsam from futon beating.

Won't Miss #243 - screeching amado

 The amado are behind Batman's motorcycle.

I'm written before about the virtues of amado, metal shutters that slide across your windows and lock in the center, and how I like how they provide multiple benefits. I wrote that post in the winter and forgot about the bad side to them and that is that they often very loudly screech when opened and closed. Apparently, part of the maintenance fee I pay for my apartment can't be squandered on a little oil for the shutters. The reason I didn't think of it in the winter is that my windows are closed and I had forgotten how grating they are when my 5 neighbors (who appear to open and close them every single day) move theirs. Personally, I only open or close mine when there is a reason (about 4x a year). One of my neighbors goes to bed at around 7:00 pm and gets up at about 5:00 am and during the brief periods when it is temperate enough in Tokyo to leave the windows open, the loud sound of what appears to be metal on metal wakes me in the early morning hours and disturbs my students during their evening lessons.

I won't miss the painful fingernails-on-a-blackboard noise of amado being opened and closed.

Will Miss #214 - neighborly introductions

A towel I was given as a gift by a new neighbor when he introduced himself.

In Japan, there is a custom in which neighbors go door-to-door and introduce themselves when they first move into an apartment building. While this custom is not followed by every single Japanese person, it is done about 80% of the time in my experience. Usually, the new neighbor introduces himself or herself with some sort of small gift, such as a towel, soap, or food. Of course, when one moves, one is expected to carry out this ritual as well, even if one is a foreigner (but you are forgiven if you're not aware of the custom).

This is a nice custom which helps you recognize the new neighbors in your building and increases the chances of a friendly relationship with them and I will miss it.