Will Miss #83 - gift giving customs

Japan is a culture where relationships are oiled with presents. Though the custom is weakening a bit, it's still common for wrapped presents to be offered on certain occasions. When people travel, they often bring "souvenirs" back for their coworkers and other contacts in their lives. There are also summer and winter (ochugen and oseibo) gift giving seasons. Additionally, students are inclined to give their teachers gifts upon the successful completion of a goal, end of the year, or beginning of the year. Sometimes the gifts are big and sometimes quite small, but it's always nice to receive a surprise that is meant to strengthen the bonds of a relationship or express a feeling.

I'll miss the gift giving culture in Japan.

Won't Miss #83 - squealing bicycle brakes

There's a particular type of bicycle in Japan which is marketed toward housewives. It's a cheap, but serviceable model which is sold new for between $80-120 (8,000-12,000 yen). This type of bike is called a "mama chari". That's "mama" for "mother" and "chari" is supposed to be the sound the bells on those bikes make. These bikes seem to have a common problem in that their brakes squeal horribly loudly, and it's the worst at crosswalks because you tend to get people slowly laying on the brakes on a long approach up to the light. It's the worst after it rains. It's extremely grating and annoying, but because these bikes are so cheap (and bikes are so often stolen in Japan that people don't want to buy pricey ones), these bikes are everywhere.

I won't miss the fingers on a blackboard feeling I get when I hear these brakes squealing.

Will Miss #82 - being able to hang out laundry

I've heard in America that some neighborhoods won't allow people to hang their clothes out to dry because of concerns that it'll look bad or lower the image of the neighborhood. Much as I hate having to hang out my laundry, I'm happy to be able to without a bunch of neighborhood busybodies getting their undies in a bunch over it spoiling the view. With current energy and environmental concerns, hanging the clothes out to dry when you can makes a lot of sense. If I had the space and the weather (which I don't exactly have in Tokyo), I'd be happy to do it all of the time.

I'll miss living in a place where the cultural norm is the environmentally best thing to do when it comes to dealing with drying clothes.

Won't Miss #82 - needing to hang out laundry

Few homes in Tokyo have clothes dryers so you have to hang out your clothes to dry. Even those that have dryers find that Japanese dryers use low temperatures and take hours to dry clothes. I know because I used to have one and it was almost useless. I've been told that they use low temperatures to stop clothes from shrinking. At any rate, nearly everyone hangs out their clothes because this is the only real solution unless you want to lug your clothes to a laundromat and use their expensive industrial-size dryers. The main problem with having to hang out clothes is that the weather is so unpredictable that they can be rained on at any given time and the balconies that shield them from rain are generally useless. Those same verandas are also pretty small for the most part so you have to do laundry every day or every other day to keep on top of it.

I won't miss trying to outrun the weather and deal with the small capacity of my balcony to dry my clothes.

Will Miss #81 - Japanese punctuality

One of the core attributes of Japanese culture is their emphasis on punctuality. While people have become increasingly slack about being on time in social situations (largely due to the ubiquitous use of cell phones and the capability to easily notify others of how late they'll be), they are still quite careful about being on time when it matters like for business appointments or service meetings. Even when people are late, they tend not to be more than a few minutes late most of the time and apologize for the extremely minor inconvenience.

I'll miss being able to generally assume people will be on time and respectful of my time.

Won't Miss #81 - cluelessness about reducing coin return

Before I ever set foot in Japan, I used to hear about how the Japanese were completely walloping Americans on math test scores. We were made to feel like our kids were hard-pressed to add 2 and 2 and come up with 4 while Japanese kids could do Calculus in seconds with the power of their mighty brains. After coming to Japan, let's say that I've been rather dissuaded from the notion that their math skills are incredibly superior. Part of this has been fueled by the inability for cashiers to grasp an extremely simple math concept. That is the idea of giving a certain amount of money to get back the fewest coins. For instance, if my purchase rings up to 702 yen, I will give 1,202 yen so that I can get back just one 500-yen coin. On multiple occasions, I've had the cashier dumbly try to return the extra money (in this case, the 202 yen). It's as if the notion of doing things this way simply cannot be computed.

I won't miss having to argue with cashiers about this simple notion in order to avoid getting back a pocketful of coins.

Will Miss #80 - a lack of religious judgment

The Japanese are ostensibly Buddhist or Shinto in their religion, but the truth is that the vast majority just go through the rituals at various holidays with no real depth of spiritual feeling. Except for the odd Jehovah's Witness who rings your doorbell, life in Japan is mercifully devoid of proselytizers and people who tell you that you have to concern yourself with their particular religion's rules. Most people who are religious or have a set of beliefs, keep such things private rather than tell everyone else what to believe and how they're going to be judged.

I will miss people keeping their spiritual beliefs out of your business and not talking about how they know what "God" wants for everyone.

Won't Miss #80 - being offered green cards

Because I'm using the internet from I.P. addresses which are recognized as being in Japan, I'm constantly getting advertising for green cards in America or sites telling me that I can become an American citizen.

I won't miss these constant (and almost certainly shady) offers to become a citizen of a country of which I'm already a citizen.

Will Miss #79 - legal bootlegging

Everyone knows that bootleg recordings of concerts are sold through various sources worldwide. In the U.S., I used to buy these through various gray market sources via mail order. Occasionally, I'd run across the odd shop which stocked some bootlegs in some hippy area, but it was uncommon for such shops to stock only bootlegs or a plethora of them. In Tokyo, there are shops that sell nothing but bootleg performances both on video and audio, all with professional-looking covers and many with cleaned up content. Since bootlegs are only purchased by serious fans who already have bought all of the official releases of a musical act, the chances that the sales of bootlegs undermine the income of the performer are very low.

I'll miss the easy, upfront, and bold sales of bootleg recordings that serious fans can take advantage of in Tokyo.

Won't Miss #79 - Japanese don't jaywalk myth

One of the most enduring and absolutely false myths is that the Japanese are so law-abiding that they will stand at a crosswalk in the dead of night on a deserted street and wait for the little man to go green and allow them to walk. The notion is that they are more concerned with not breaking the law than the point of that law. Trust me when I say that I see people crossing on a "don't walk" sign several times a day and crossing where they are not supposed to cross, both on bicycles and on foot.

I won't miss the juxtaposition of this myth with the very obvious reality.

Will Miss #78 - pop cross-cultural promotions

I love seeing Western pop culture icons like the Simpsons being used in Japan to promote things. Part of this is the familiarity, but a bigger part of it is the sense that I'm seeing something special which I wouldn't see in similar promotions back home. This probably harks back to my days of collecting Japanese releases of the rock band KISS. Even though the music was the same, the packaging and presentation was unique and in Japanese which made it much cooler than the stuff back home.

I'll miss these pop cross-cultural promotions and the sense that I'm seeing something cooler just because it's on display in Japan.

Won't Miss #78 - having my Japanese mocked

The other day, I said "konnichiwa" (good day) to some people in the neighborhood as I was walking to a local shop and they said it back, but then just after my back was to them, they very loudly made fun of the way I said it. The care which they took to make sure they mocked me within earshot made it clear they wanted me to be embarrassed. Between the foreigners who correct my Japanese and the Japanese who don't understand it or laugh at it, I am consistently discouraged not to even bother to try tospeak Japanese.

I won't miss having my best efforts to speak the language made fun of.