Won't Miss #423 - non-deodorant wearers

I realize there are people who stink everywhere in the world, but I encounter far more people with intense B.O. in Tokyo than I have anywhere else. The reason for this is that most Japanese assume they don't stink when they sweat and therefore do not need deodorant. In fact, many believe that only foreigners are capable of smelling bad when they sweat. There was once a sign near deodorant in a drug store which said essentially, "don't smell bad like a foreigner." Well, it's not only foreigners who can smell bad, especially in the hot humid summer, but even year-round. One of the workers at a local convenience store seems especially oblivious and I hate shopping there when he's on duty.

Men in particular seem to be unaware of the putrid funk they are subjecting bystanders to and I definitely won't miss the frequency with which I encounter these clueless stinky Petes.

Will Miss #422 - "death by fan" warnings

Definitely the wrong kind of fan and not about fun...

You can read all of the books and web sites you want about a foreign culture, but chances are that you'll find the reality will catch you off guard sooner rather than later. One day, you'll be talking about the summer heat and how to best cope with it and a student will say that it's just too cold using the air conditioner all night. Rather reasonably, you'll suggest using an electric fan. This will often elicit a wide-eyed look and you'll be told that you shouldn't use a fan while you sleep because you might suffocate. I've told students time and time again that, when I lived in the U.S., I slept all night with a fan in my window and lived to tell the tale, but they still are too superstitious to use one themselves. Sweating the night away is preferable to risking having all of the breathable air sucked out of their lungs by a demon apparatus. 

I'll miss the incredulous looks I get when I say I sleep with an electric fan running and hearing that I'm flirting with death by doing so. 

Won't Miss #422 - Japanese fitting rooms

I can't speak for every single fitting room in Japan, just the ones I've tried. Since clothes here aren't exactly made for my foreign body, I am not exactly the most experienced person in this regard. That being said, I can say that at least some of them require you to remove your shoes before entering them. In fact, that is the way in which you indicate the room is occupied in some cases. If you see a pair of shoes outside, someone is in there. Considering that some of them are covered with nothing more than curtains (as is also the case back home at times, or so I'm told), I guess this is better than nothing at stopping people from barging in on your partially naked form. 

Taking your shoes off and putting them back on just adds one more step to the cumbersome task of trying on clothes and I won't miss it when going into a Japanese fitting room. 

Will Miss #421 - "analog" signs on T.V.

Getting a picture of a television program showing a cardboard sign is much harder than it might seem.

Japan is undoubtedly one of the most technologically advanced countries in the world. In fact, I've seen computer chips embedded in traffic cones. Machinery is sometimes integrated at a level that would make a Borg mama proud. Given the deep level of technological sophistication that you see around you, it's odd when you see television shows offering information via hand-drawn signs or printed bits of cardboard that have obviously been manually cobbled together. Frankly, it reminds me of 70's game shows in which answers are revealed by pulling away a strip of cardboard from a slot on a larger piece of cardboard. In fact, I've seen Japanese television shows (particularly NHK, Japan's public television network) do precisely that. 

The manner in which analog signs are used in a country which possesses and uses digital technology reflects one of the core aspects of Japanese culture, a blending of the old with the new, and I will miss seeing them. 

Won't #421 - walking with my head down

After my thyroid surgery, my doctor asked me how my neck mobility was coming along after several weeks of restricted movement. He asked me to look up and I apparently could not look up as far as I should have been able to. One thing I realized when this happened was that I wasn't so sure that I could really look up very well before the surgery because I constantly walk around Tokyo with my head down. I hadn't though too much about this prior to this experience, but I do know why it happens. One reason is that I don't want to see people staring at me. Not looking up habitually has reduced the stress and frustration I feel at being treated like a freak. If I don't see them staring, I don't get angry. Another is that I've learned to avoid incidental eye contact as it often is seen as an invitation for people who want to get in free English practice to approach me. I now am making a conscious effort to walk with my chin level rather than down all of the time in preparation for returning to America.

To be honest, I think this habit of walking with my head down has had a negative psychological effect on me as well as possibly a physiological effect and I won't miss feeling the need to do it.

Will Miss #420 - women who wear little make-up

Few women use this power as much as the woman in this ad. 

One thing that is the case by and large in Japan is that Japanese women don't wear much make-up. Occasionally, you see someone who is sporting enough maquillage to make a clown envious, but the general aesthetic is closer to looking natural. Most of my female students wear foundation and aside from those who go for spider lashes, they wear so little make-up (particularly eye make-up), that they just look normal. I think that this not only makes women look "real", but also reduces the pressure on all women to conform and wear more of it. It makes it that much easier on women like me who prefer to wear none at all most of the time.

I will miss how "real" and natural the vast majority of Japanese women look because they don't tend to wear much make-up. 

Won't Miss #420 - talking to people in masks

I think it's quaint and somewhat endearing that you see Japanese people running around wearing surgical masks. It speaks to a certain meticulousness, paranoia, and, yes, even consideration for others. It's also the only way people ever seem capable of covering their mouths when they cough and sneeze. On the flip side though, there is an issue when they keep wearing them even when they are indoors and in a conversation with other people. In my work, it is not uncommon for people who are wearing masks to protect themselves from the swarming bacteria of crowded public spaces to keep them on while they share my tiny cubicle with me. I'm not the least bit offended that they want to protect themselves against "my germs" or those left behind by other students, but I really dislike the fact that I can't see more than half of their faces when talking. It's harder to read expressions and feels like I'm having a convivial conversation with a bank robber.

I won't miss talking to people who are wearing surgical masks. 

Will Miss #419 - 108 bell chimes

At or around midnight on New Year's Eve, temples in Japan ring a bell 108 times to rid themselves of their desires and "sins" from the previous year. It's symbolizes a sort of spiritual cleansing so people go into the next year purged of negativity. I think most Japanese people don't know what it means and few think deeply about the meaning. As a custom and a mindset, I like the idea that you leave behind your negative thoughts and feelings and can start with a clean slate the next year. Even if many Japanese folks aren't deeply internationalizing this feeling as they hear the bell ring, I do. The atmosphere that is created by the slow ringing of the bell so many times adds to the sense of ceremony and special nature of the holiday.

I will miss hearing the bells ring 108 times on New Years Eve for what it represents as well as how it brings a sense of peace and good ambience.

Won't Miss #419 - only 2 burners

A lot of short-timers in Japan never really do much in the way of cooking. For them, a toaster oven and one lonely gas burner is more than enough to sustain them between "konbini" (convenience store) sandwiches and rice balls (onigiri) and dinners of UFO yakisoba and instant ramen. For me, as someone who cooks and cooks a lot, having a mere 2 burners on a gas table requires a lot of messing about to get the job done. It's not even about complex meals, but if you want to cook a vegetable, a starch and a main meat or fish dish, that's a three-burner deal right there. I'm not talking about multi-course haute cuisine, but just a basic meal with different components. Though I've become fairly good at juggling, it gets pretty tiresome and troublesome at times.

Some Japanese people have proper stoves (with 3 or 4 burners) in their homes, but most apartment dwellers are stuck with one or two burners. I won't miss the limits on meal preparation that have been a part of my life in Tokyo.

Will Miss #418 - Japanese snowmen

It may seem a strange thing, but, yes, even the snowmen in Japan are different. For reasons I am not entirely sure of, Japanese snowmen consist of two balls of snow (a head and a body) whereas American ones have three segments (head, torso, "legs"). I've talked to Japanese folks about this, and they believe it follows the general form of dolls in Japan such as kokeshi. I should note that Russian matryoshka dolls have a similar shape. That would open up a whole new question as to why the dolls in some cultures are differently designed than others, but the bottom line is that there is clearly a difference in how imitations of "human" forms are conceptualized. 

Small cultural differences such as the difference between how one culture constructs a snowman and the other does so differently always make me wonder about the evolution of thought, art, and how things are thought about. I will miss seeing the two-part snowmen and how they make me ponder such things. 

Won't Miss #418 - "Whiplash Wangs"

I'm guessing that the people with filthier minds are going to be sorely disappointed by the content of this post because "Whiplash Wang" does not refer to a male appendage-related issue, but an episode of the old T.V. series M*A*S*H. On the show (and possibly in real life, I don't know),  that was a term for a Korean person during the war who would jump in front of an army vehicle, sustain an injury, and extort money from the Americans. In that case, it was a sad reflection of the poverty people were suffering in wartime. In modern Japan, this sort of thing happens because people are stupid and careless and they know others are so squeamish about the stigma of wrongdoing that they might just cough up some dough.

I have heard many stories in which a cyclist, pedestrian, pet owner, or driver of a vehicle has an accident in which the accident was not the other party's fault, but the "victim" demanded a huge sum of money for personal or property damage. More often than not, the other party throws money at the problem to make it go away before the police are involved. The bullies expect to be paid off in most cases because of the shame and generally passive nature of Japanese people. For foreigners, this is especially scary because of an incomplete understanding of the law, language issues, and the fact that the police are more likely to blame the foreigner by default. Because of the low number of civil cases, many foreigners don't know that this sort of thing is hardly uncommon in Japan. The actual number is masked by the fact that the victims cave in and the police or courts are not involved.

I won't miss having to worry about some idiot nearly killing me with his bike and then blaming me for the damage to person and property and then demanding money from me.

Will Miss #417 - tsukemono

Every time my husband and I go out to eat at a restaurant that serves any sort of Japanese food, I am pleased to receive a little side dish of pickles. When I get curry from Cocoichibanya, one of my great pleasures is taking the compartment full of pickles and mixing them with the spicy pork curry. The odd thing is that I never actually buy them myself despite having ample access to a great variety of such pickles. I think this is because I can't cook Japanese food, but also because I'm not sure that I wouldn't eat the whole container at once and suffer some sort of horrible salt-induced trip to the emergency room. I think it's also the case that these pickles are special because they are something I get in small portions at special meals, though I have to admit that I eat a double serving every time since I eat the ones my husband is given as well as my own.

I'll miss Japanese pickles (tsukemono).