Random Memories #62 - things I wish I'd kept or photographed - part 1

Some memories exist fully formed in my mind as "stories" of life in Japan. Others are little fragments which are jogged back into recollection by some random circumstantial experience. Those fragments tend to come and go randomly and I often feel that if I don't grab them and trap them in words, they may flit away forever as the chances that some stimulus will compel one to come forward again are rather low.

When I remember such things, or my husband does, one or the other of us will say that we wished we had kept some little memento of the experience. That would help preserve the memory in a more concrete manner, not to mention leave us with some neat little object around which to tell our story.

This post is about those little things which I wish I'd either kept or photographed during my years in Japan. Some of them are things which are hard to believe existed as they were idiosyncratic even in that country. Some of them were a product of an age that has passed by. All of them are the kinds of things which we did not experience at home. No memories that I can offer are more "random" than these. Warning: if you are someone who is made uncomfortable by talk of the three-letter "S" word, then you may want to skip this post. I don't use any profanity, but I do use technical words for male and female anatomy. And I apologize in advance if any disturbing ads load as a result of this post's content being misunderstood by search engines.

Here are some of these little fragments:

The pornographic vending machine

You may read this paragraphs title and think I'm speaking of a machine selling pornographic materials such as magazines or pictures. Though such items were in the machine that I saw, it was much more than that. If I had had a camera at that time, I would have taken pictures, but this was before I owned one (before 1994 when I bought a QuickTake digital camera) and definitely before I carried one around with me.

My husband and I were walking toward the West side of Asagaya, the neighborhood in which we lived for 23 years, and wandering around a largely residential space. This was, very likely, in 1990-1991 as it was before I had gall bladder surgery in Tokyo. We were still exploring the nooks and crannies of all of the confusing streets when we noticed a well-lit vending machine under a stairwell of an apartment building. It was twilight so it stood out a bit and we went over to investigate.

We were still at that stage of life in Japan when we carefully inspected the contents of many of the vending machines as we weren't yet familar with all of the Japanese drink types like "Boss" coffee or Dydo cocoa or whatnot. Beer and soft drink machines were the norm, of course, but this appeared at a distance to be another type of animal.

The machine we saw was quite wide and the objects within were relatively large and varied in size. As we approached it, it became clear that it was filled with wonders meant to appeal to prurient interests. In addition to a handful of pornographic videos and magazines depicting fully naked slack-jawed vixens in moments of carnal ecstasy (but with hands or other objects obscuring their most private of parts), there were marital aids. It wasn't just a garden variety offering of "vibrators", but also a very large and freaky-looking artificial vagina and a pump-style object which either was meant to enlarge or engorge a male member. I couldn't read any Japanese at the time so I'm not sure what sort of promises it was making.

If I could travel back in time, I'd certainly give my younger self a camera and take a whole roll of film of the contents of that machine. It wasn't only that such objects being peddled in a vending machine was so strange, but that it was situated in front of what looked very much like an average Japanese apartment building. Certainly, I could see such a thing placed in front of a love hotel, but this place did not appear to be such an establishment. Perhaps it was a building designed for men who lived the Playboy lifestyle, or at least one sans all of the real bunnies. That would be the only way to explain the value of such a machine to the inhabitants.

Q-Dial Pens

One of the things I've mentioned in another post was the way in which our mailbox was frequently mail-bombed by flyers. Toward the end of our stay, it was usually for services that would come and haul your large trash items away for a fee, cleaning services, health clubs, beauty treatments, or restaurants. In the early days, we saw a lot more flyers related to sex-related services.

Though we couldn't read the flyers very well, we received them for so many years that my husband (who studied Japanese for several years in a school and got pretty good at kanji/Chinese characters) figured a few of them out. One of the most common ones offered a list of pornographic movies for rent or purchase. Another offered the equivalent of a visiting masseuse, though I'm pretty sure she was going to rub a lot more than your back. My memory about the financial information on those flyers is fuzzy, but I'm pretty sure there was some mention of tips or bonuses that could be paid for extra service.

Beyond these items, we sometimes got a ballpoint pen. It was always a yellow pen with blue writing and blue ink and said "Q-dial" on it in English along with Japanese writing. For quite awhile, we just took our free pen and used it without worrying about what was being offered. After a few years, we learned that "Q-dial" service was either phone sex or a way of calling one of the ladies that would come and rub your body in various ways. I don't recall whether it was call girls or girls you call, but I do remember that it was related to sex servicing.

My husband and I have both thought on occasion that we should have saved one of those pens. It would have served both as a reminder of Japan, and of an era in which such services couldn't be had via the internet. The times, they have changed from a primitive era in which men rode around on bicycles dropping papers or free pens into everyone's mailbox in order to meet their needs for certain types of gratification. Based on what I hear about Japan these days, men have lost most of their interest in that sort of thing.

Not all of my memory fragments pertain to sex. Next week, my mind will be out of the gutter... well, maybe not, but at least I won't be parading its location in the next post (at least, that's not the plan). To be continued...

Will Miss #43 - liberal ideas on birth control (reflection)

I don't know if there are programs in Japan in which high schools distribute free condoms to teens to control unwanted pregnancy and the spread of disease. I am pretty sure, though clearly I cannot be certain, that such programs would not be debated based on religious concerns if they were proposed. They almost certainly be pondered in terms of expense (who pays) and the potential embarrassment that would follow offering such private items to kids. In the U.S., some schools do offer condoms, but some do not because there is too much blowback from people who believe that it promotes promiscuity among the hormonally charged youngsters.

I continue to miss the fact that the Japanese have a more enlightened attitude toward birth control (though not necessarily sex itself, but that is a topic for another post) and make it relatively easy and morally acceptable to seek it out. 

Will Miss #460 - lack of prudishness

One of the first things I learned about Japan was that their regard for sexual behavior is quite different from that of Westerners. I was told, and this was a notion that was reinforced as the years went by, that sexual acts were regarded as a biological necessity, much like the need to urinate or eat. This was offered as an explanation as to why some Japanese women would tell their husbands or boyfriends that they understood if they strayed, but they simply never wanted to know about it. Cheating is tolerated to a greater extent because it is seen as a release, not as a threat to relationships. While some foreigners, especially men, view this as a superior and enlightened attitude toward sex, I simply see it as a different way of looking at things  based on cultural differences. And while the Japanese do practice more censorship of pornography (laws made in 1907 that were never altered) than Western countries do, they don't have laws in place to restrict private behavior (such as ridiculous sodomy laws that say what you can and can't do in your own home). I have no idea why the censorship laws were never changed, but I think it has more to do with inertia than prudishness.

To me, the aspect of this that I will miss is the lack of prudishness that accompanies such a frank and utilitarian attitude toward sex.

Will Miss #303 - love hotels

 "Hotel Vanilla Sweet", perhaps for candy and cake lovers who need to get some loving of a different flavor.

I have never been to a love hotel, but I like the existence of them for several reasons. First of all, the names and designs are generally pretty goofy so they're good for a laugh. Second, they are meticulously clean for a place which is designed around allowing people to pay by the hour to tryst with one another. They don't carry the same connotation of beg bugs and stained sheets that similar hotels do in the U.S. Finally, their existence and presence in many areas is yet another reflection that the Japanese are not incredibly uptight about sex and sexuality. They are the answer to close quarters living in small apartments and a need to find privacy elsewhere.

I'll miss love hotels for the laughs and for what they represent about Japanese culture.

Won't Miss #197 - condoms that are too small

There is an effort among some foreign women married to Japanese men to dispel what they believe is the "myth" that Japanese men have smaller penises than foreign men based on their (statistically insignificant) personal experiences. I have no interest in myths, but I do know some facts. The fact of the matter is that penis size in a given population relates not to the size of the men, but the size of the women. No doubt, this is part of the cleverness of evolution. If it didn't fit, the DNA didn't get passed on. If the average size of the women is smaller, the penis size of the men is smaller. You can reach your own conclusions based on the size of Japanese women and you can debate to your heart's content as to whether size even matters. Personally, it's of no consequence to me (since I'm married to an American) except when it comes to the size of the available condoms in Japan. Japanese condoms are too tight for many foreign men because they are sized for the average Japanese penis. Sure, they can stretch enough to do the job, but they're not comfortable and don't feel right.

I won't miss having to deal with the hassle of buying imported condoms because the Japanese ones are too small.

Will Miss #162 - tanuki

While it may seem that I like tanuki ("raccoon dogs") statues being present in Japan because it tickles my inner tittering juvenile nature, that's not actually the case. I like these statues because their presence says something about the Japanese people. It says that they aren't so hung up on seeing genitalia that they would nix the idea of putting a representation of an animal with a giant scrotum on their lawns. It's an indication that they aren't as prudish, childish or self-conscious as some other cultures which would have such a thing removed as an obscenity.

It says something about a certain type of maturity, and I'll miss that.

Will Miss #43 - liberal ideas about birth control

While America has its highly ineffective abstinence movement, Japan has condoms available everywhere. There's a condom vending machine about 2 minutes from our apartment in case anyone has an urgent need and is too shy to ask at a drug store. In fact, I don't even know if condoms are sold in drug stores in Japan since they're so easy to get in other places.

I'll miss the liberal and pragmatic attitudes toward birth control.

Won't Miss #43 - girly mags everywhere

Pornography and psuedo-pornography (e.g., rape and nudity in comic books) is all over the place in Tokyo. It's sold in boxes on the streets and you see men reading variations on it on the trains everyday. While I have absolutely no problem with people spending their time at home looking at whatever floats their boat, I don't like watching people ogle porn while I'm crammed in next to them on a crowded train. It may make me a prude, but I think some activities should be private.

I won't miss seeing men looking at porn in public spaces.