Won't Miss #503 - the "insult and smile"

It wasn't the least bit uncommon for Japanese people to say rude things about me to one another in Japanese. In some cases, I think they felt I could not understand and, in others, I think they didn't care if I did. It happened with such regularity that I started to take it in stride. That being said, there was another level of this behavior which did make me angry and that was when people would say something rude about me to a compatriot and then turn around and notice I was looking at her (it was always a "her") and then smile sweetly and nod at me as if exercising some sort of courtesy or kindness to the dumb foreigner.

This sort of nastiness followed by some sort of fake niceness was far worse than the casual rudeness that people indulged in at my expense and I do not miss it. 

Won't Miss #500 - being a "gaijin"

While living in the United States, I am just a person. While living in Japan, I was turned into a "gaijin". This is an identity that was assigned to me by the Japanese and is given to everyone who does not suit the definition of "Japanese".  Even people who are actually Japanese, but don't look it, are given this identity. I've spent the last 23 years of my life being defined by my "otherness" . It has made me feel less than human and objectified for a very long time. There is no pride in being a gaijin and there certainly is no community support among foreigners for the difficulties involved in being slotted into this identity (as my many posts about the negative attitudes toward foreigners by other foreigners illustrates). There is only the feeling that you are an outsider.

I won't miss being a gaijin and, by coming home, I'm starting to feel like "just" a person again. 

Won't Miss #499 - no sense of "home"

This shirt actually has nothing to do with the topic of this post, but the graphic fits. 

One of the hardest things about living in Japan was knowing that it was not and never could be my "home". Sure, I could have applied for Japanese citizenship or residency. I might even have been granted the latter, but Japanese culture is not one which accepts occidental faces as Japanese. It doesn't matter what passport you hold. I would never belong and I would never feel as if I was rooted because there would be a sense of not fitting in. It is said that "home is where the heart is," but my heart could never be seen as Japanese. Home is where you are always welcome and you feel that you belong. I couldn't say either of these of my time in Japan. Perhaps I would have felt differently had I been married to a Japanese person and integrated with a family on that level, but that just was not my particular destiny.

I was always the puzzle piece that did not fit with the others and therefore I knew I did not and could not ever belong. I won't miss the sense that I could never feel that Japan was truly my "home".

Won't Miss #497 - open office plans

One of the cool things about teaching in Japan? No open office plan (usually)... though my husband's second job did have such a style. The noise was awful. This was one of the cubicles I taught in at my last job in Tokyo. Ah, luxury!

I can't speak for offices around the world because I only have experience with two countries - America and Japan. In the U.S., most people work in a private office or a cubicle with partitions on 3 sides. I can't say why this is done, but I've always believed it was to avoid distraction, control noise, and offer privacy. It's a lot harder for your coworkers to interrupt you if they have to get up from their desk and walk around your walls or through your office door than if they can just speak to you across a desk or two. You also get muted sound from their phones and work habits.

In Japan, it is most common to use what is called an "open office plan". That is when there is one big room and the whole staff for a section (or even a company) has desks next to and/or facing one another. This style is cheaper and allows companies to move employees around and cram others in at a whim. It is also a style which has a negative impact on productivity and creates more stress for employees. Most people hate this, but the overwhelming majority of Japanese companies use this style. They say it builds their team spirit, but the truth is that it's about keeping an eye on people and saving money. What was worst about my personal experiences with such plans was that they were horribly cramped. You weren't only operating in a barrage of stimuli and experiencing a plethora of interruptions, but you were crammed in like sardines.

I hated the open office plans in Japan and I absolutely will not miss them. 

Won't Miss #496 - fixation on blue eyes

Surely, the tears of angels fall from blue eyes.

I had many discussions with students about their preconceptions regarding Western people, and, to them, "Western" (occidental), meant "white". It meant not only white, but mostly blue-eyed white people. In fact, I was told on more than one occasion that they believed most of us have blue eyes. I learned a long time ago when I studied basic genetics in junior high school that blue eyes are recessive and therefore less likely to be present. The ever handy Wikipedia says 33.8% of the U.S. population has blue eyes. That's certainly a lot more than the number of Japanese who do, but hardly a majority.

The incorrect notion that most occidental people have blue eyes isn't really something you can "blame" Japanese people for believing. After all, most T.V. shows have a stunning imbalance in terms of eye color. I've watched shows in which 80% of the cast are blue-eyed, and it is frequently the case that the main cast are blue-eyed. The thing that annoyed me in Japan was the fixation on blue eyes as something that is incredibly positive and worth noting. Students would tell me they wanted my eye color. Some actually preferred teachers because they had blue eyes and felt that they were getting a more "authentic" experience in learning if their teacher's appearance matched their stereotype.

Undoubtedly, I benefited from this fixation on blue eyes (and light hair), but it always made me feel objectified and uncomfortable. I think the worst part though was knowing that people who were dark-skinned, dark-eyed, and dark-haired were being rated lower in desirability for arbitrary reasons. This fixation made me acutely aware that I was given a benefit for something that I had nothing to do with, and I won't miss it.

Won't Miss #495 - "worn" = "dirty"

Yes, this is a real place in Tokyo (in Hamadayama). I don't know what it was all about, but the elaborate garbage placement nearly made it a work of art. 

I have a real ambivalence about the way things worked in Tokyo in terms of the constant renewal and the waste associated with it versus the pristine sense of things being clean and new. Since coming back to America, I have been struck by how profoundly grubby things seem at times, even when they are actually technically "clean". Stores, even large, modern ones, in particular can sometimes shock me with the wear and tear on their structures which make them appear rundown. In Tokyo, customers generally felt uncomfortable with any sort of visible wear such as cracks, chips in paint, age-based yellowing. Anything that resembled age-related loss of quality was generally kept to a bare minimum. Most things felt pretty fresh and relatively new, if not actually "new". It didn't hurt that cleaning was done thoroughly, not simply "regularly".

All of that being said, I couldn't help but believe that it was immensely wasteful to refurbish or replace things simply because they were worn in appearance yet did not have diminished utility. In this day and age of concern about resources and the environment, it felt like an immense indulgence to a particular aesthetic to be replacing things that were perfectly functional, but superficially somewhat unpleasant.

My students used to tell me that they didn't like certain things like their old clothes, bags, or apartments because they were "dirty", but what they almost always meant was that they looked worn or used. I won't miss the waste associated with this mentality.

Won't Miss #494 - being hung up on (a lot)

Wrong numbers are a fact of life in any country. The main difference between getting a call from someone who is confused or dials incorrectly in Japan as compared to the U.S. is that, if you answer in English, and I always did because that was the language I expected my callers to speak, you will more often than not be immediately hung up on. This isn't just because you are speaking English as salespeople (and NTT, damn their souls to a purgatory in which someone tries to sell them something they want and then never follows through, is the worst) will start blabbing on in Japanese even if you have the audacity to say "hello". It is because people think it is okay to be rude to foreigners or because they are so shocked that they panic and slam the phone down (perhaps they fear gaijin cooties being transmitted through the phone lines). Seriously though, I got very tired of people who mistakenly called me and didn't have the courtesy to say, "I'm sorry" (gomennasai/ ごめんなさい) or "I made a mistake" (shitsurei shimashita/失礼しました｡) before disconnecting. The worst ones would not only call and hang up on me, but then they'd do it again with the same mistaken number and hang up once more without a word.

I won't miss wrong callers simply hanging up on me without so much as an "I'm sorry."

Won't Miss #487 - wide stances

There are signs on Japanese trains telling people not to sit with their legs open wide because it is so common for men to sit as if it were imperative that they keep there knees as far apart from each other as a couple of angry, violence-prone weasels. My boss once expressed his frustration with these men by remarking that he'd love to ask them if their testicles were swollen. I am in no way exaggerating when I say that they are sitting to occupy the maximum amount of space possible on crowded trains. Japanese men seem to display this territorial body language much more often than men I've seen in America. Well, it's either the fact that they do it more often or I noticed it a lot more because in the context of the smaller, more densely packed areas of Tokyo, it seems far more inappropriate and selfish behavior.

I won't miss seeing these men who seem to believe they need to stake out a maximum amount of territory with their legs (or who suffer from some odd disorder in the cajones). 

Won't Miss #485 - the comparative narrative

One thing that continues to annoy me to this day when I visit forums or news sites devoted to Japan is the way in which no issue or problem in Japan can be discussed without dragging other countries, well, actually, America, into the mix. No matter what you say about a problem in Japan, the counter-argument is that it's "worse" in America. Here is the thing, it does not matter what it is like in the U.S. when you are living in Japan and dealing with a problem in that country! It's not an international competition in penis sizes in which you have to be sure that Japan always comes out ahead because its social problems are comparatively not as bad as another country's. It's not about "bad", "worse", and "worst". It's about discussing an issue as it appears in a particular culture. When we talk about how the water has toxic levels of purifying chemicals in a city, the problem is not countered with, "at least it's not contaminated with sewage like it is in Bumblebone, Remote Island." The existence of a far worse situation elsewhere does not mean the problem at hand is to be dismissed.

People seem incapable of addressing an issue in Japan without trying to downplay it by comparing it to America. I don't miss this comparative that has to crop into every discussion of a problem in Japan.

Won't Miss #484 - a lack of spontaneity

The flip-side of the fact that the Japanese have a ritual or guideline for how things should be done is that there is often a lack of spontaneity in interactions. People do what they're supposed to in the manner in which they are expected to do it and deviation from form or expectations is seen as poor manners, or worse. This is reflected in things like traditional Japanese culture such as business card exchanges and tea ceremony. People are expected to follow precise movements in an exact order. There is no creativity or spontaneity because changing the way things are done is seen as failure to observe proper manners or form. This stifles individuality in favor of predictability.

I won't miss the lack of spontaneity that comes from having relatively rigid rituals and guidelines for social interactions.

Won't Miss #482 - credit where none is due

People have not yet given Japan credit for the invention of sliced bread, but I'm sure someone will eventually. 

One of the great things about living in Japan was that the world was full of numerous curiosities. I lived in perpetual comparative state. From the way in which the cups are shaped to the manner in which people line up to the way the walls looked, it was all different and therefore more interesting than life at home. Everyone who goes to Japan does this and many observations and conclusions are valid and interesting. Unfortunately, there are some who have a compulsion to so elevate Japanese culture and societal norms above those of their own culture that they give Japan credit where none is due. This is especially so for Americans who often are so self-conscious about coming across as jingoistic or overly patriotic sorts that they react by putting America down constantly to prove they're not those sorts unappealing types of people.

One of the dumbest claims I ever heard about Japan's unique and superior way to handle things was over the little plastic tubs of sugar syrup that are handed to customers when they buy cold beverages like iced tea. The woman who was saying America was inadequate for failing to provide such customer service went on about how everything was much more convenient and thoughtful in Japan. She made a common mistake when comparing cultures. She assumed her knowledge of America reflected the reality of being American and since she didn't encounter simple syrup in her lifestyle back home, she assumed it didn't exist in the U.S. The Japanese weren't superior about this, they merely were more wasteful in giving out plastic tubs of this sugary goo to everyone regardless of need.

I won't miss this tendency among foreigners to give credit where it is not due because they don't realize that they don't know everything about their home culture and don't bother to check. 

Won't #479 - "kisha club" journalism

During the most critical times of the Fukushima nuclear crisis, one could not trust any of the media outlets for reliable information. On the foreign side, there was alarmist reporting and a zeal for whipping up the greatest drama. On the Japanese side, there is a long history of "journalism" which is about telling the population what the bureaucracy and government wants them to hear rather than the truth. All countries have components of the kisha club in their press club gatherings, but the Japanese press is, by far, the most cooperative when it comes to doing what those who they report on want them to do rather than telling people the truth that they need to hear. I relied on individuals peppered throughout the country with Geiger counters who posted daily on Twitter and gave up on all news reporting worldwide because I knew one side was doing its best to scaremonger and the other to downplay the danger.

In the West, there are so many people and so much competition among media outlets, that the possibility of withholding important news is far smaller than it is in Japan. I won't miss the fact that the media outlets cannot be trusted to share important information relating to the safety and well-being of the population.

Won't Miss #475 - deli options

Plenty to choose from, as long as you like your food breaded and deep fried!

The supermarkets in the U.S. are bigger than those in Japan. This, in and of itself, means that the deli sections are bigger than those in Japan (as are the bakeries). The problem I had with Japanese delis though wasn't necessarily the size, but rather the range of food options. If you were going to buy something somebody else made for you, then you were going to either have to eat (less than stellar) sushi, or consume a heaping helping of fat in most cases. The main options were almost always breaded and fried items like pork or chicken cutlets, croquettes, or various types of tempura. The salad options more often than not included a heavy mayonnaise component, especially in potato and pasta salads. While I'm not one to demonize fat as an integral part of ones diet, this was far outside the range of what one should be eating. It was rare to find sandwiches, wraps, or light salads or other types of food. Roast chicken or any sort of meat which wasn't deep fried and breaded was generally absent. When present, it was more expensive than the fattier options.

One of the reasons I was encouraged to cook for myself was that the deli options were so limited in Japan that I couldn't stomach the pre-made food. While that was a good thing on the whole, I still wish that I could have occasionally picked up some food when I was tired and didn't feel like cooking. I very much do not miss the Japanese deli food. 

Won't Miss #473 - "the Japanese heart"

If there is one thing Japanese people seem to be convinced of, it is their own unique nature. Talk of "the Japanese heart" (– 日本人の心), a concept which is ambiguous enough that anyone can apply it to any action and claim it as a reflection of the notion, is not uncommon when folks try to express something about the essential nature of the Japanese character. It can mean kindness. It can mean an attitude or posture toward some aspect of life like work or money. It's an exceptionally broad concept and it never acknowledges for a moment that other cultures may have their own "hearts" which are similarly unique, just as important, and should also be respected and understood. Only the Japanese possess this "heart". "The Japanese heart" can essentially mean anything the speaker wants it to mean. The problem with it is not that there isn't some commonality in character among Japanese people. They are raised in a culture which emphasizes conformity, after all. The problem is that it's used as a catch-all term to either elevate Japanese culture above others or to make it clear to outsiders that there is some essence that Japanese folks possess that they will never fully understand and absolutely cannot develop.

Whatever the Japanese heart is, you can't understand it and you can't have one if you are an outsider. Hearing about this notion is something that I will not miss.

Won't Miss #468 - "milk" flavor

I read a cooking blog post recently which offered a recipe for "vanilla ice cream, because "plain" is not a flavor." In Japan, "plain" is a flavor, and it is not a good one. A lot of people see "milk" in Japan and believe it means vanilla, but what it really means is one of several things depending on the quality of the product. It can be condensed milk, regular milk, or, at the very bottom of the barrel, powdered milk. While I like the flavor of milk just fine, it's not the sort of thing which lends itself well as a flavoring. It's not that it is boring so much as concentrated milk flavor on its own tastes pretty funky, at least to my taste buds.

I won't miss buying food which is "milk" flavored and expecting something with vanilla because I tended to forget that white food (especially ice cream) in Japan didn't mean "vanilla."

Won't Miss #467 - goya

The sign on the right is offering goya juice. Note the blender behind it, which is empty of residue from creating goya juice. I don't know why anyone would think it would be profitable to sell it, but I guess there must be some sort of market out there for it. 

"Goya" is the Japanese word for a bitter melon/gourd. It looks like a diseased cucumber in the incarnation it is commonly sold in in Japan. It's often used in dishes that are a specialty of the Okinawa region in Japan. It's also an acquired taste that I never acquired. In fact, many Japanese people never acquire it despite their higher tolerance than Americans for bitter food. Goya is supposed to be good for your health and especially helpful in summer for coping with the hot weather, but it was never a welcome sight for me in whatever dishes it was offered in.

People sometimes credit the consumption of goya with the long-lived nature of Okinawans, but, if I have to eat goya to live to be a hundred, I'd rather die a few decades earlier.

Won't Miss #466 - limited range of jobs

No, I didn't want to be a mini castella vendor, but I probably couldn't have been had I wanted to.

Many people believe that the country is your oyster in terms of work if you learn to speak, read, and write Japanese and are a foreigner. Many people are wrong. Under certain circumstances and if you are completely fluent, you may be able to do a particular job or two that a Japanese person would do. However, it is overwhelmingly the case that foreigners are hired because they are foreigners. They are not hired to do work that a Japanese person could do because, frankly, the Japanese would rather work with known quantities rather than a cultural wild card. There is also the fact that, unless you are a permanent resident, you can't legally be hired for a job a Japanese person is capable of doing. You have to possess a skill they do not (though this law is often ignored if the foreigner will work for a lower wage than a Japanese person).

For all of the reasons above, the range of jobs that a foreign person can reasonably do in Japan is quite limited. The same may apply to every country in the world, but I was a foreigner in Japan and this is part of that experience that I will not miss.

Won't Miss #465 - guys with long nails

The camera didn't catch the shot because I couldn't really get a close up or use a flash, but he did have long fingernails and it was icky.

One of the things which I noticed in Japan which I don't see in America is that Japanese young men (usually teens to early 20's) often didn't trim their nails. It was first brought to my attention when a clerk at a local convenience store scratched my hand while giving me back my change. Men, who generally have long nails because of laziness about hygiene, often do not know how not to manipulate things with claws as women do. From a young age, we become practiced in the art of having longer nails and try not to savage random strangers with them while doing mundane business transactions. After that minor random wounding, I was cautious about being handed money or anything else by young males and, sure enough, I saw a not small number of them with nails that, while not in the range of what women would sport, were definitely in need of a good trim. Once I noticed this, I occasionally went out of my way to look at the hands of teen school boys when they stood in gaggles on trains and, sure enough, at least one of them seemed to have nails that made me cringe. I'm guessing this is just carelessness among young males and not a fashion statement. 

This is a subjective thing, but I find long nails on men who are not trying to dress intentionally as women rather creepy looking and unappealing. Perhaps I saw Nosferatu too many times or I'm so rigid in my thinking that I find long nails undeniably feminine, but I won't miss seeing young men with long nails or worrying about getting accidentally scratched by them.

Won't Miss #464 - fear of being trapped on trains

It's higher than it looks here. 

When you live in Tokyo, you spend a fair amount of your life on trains. This is what happens when you live in a place with a very convenient, efficient, and punctual public transport system and very expensive parking. After the March 11, 2011 earthquake, my feeling about stepping onto a train changed. The trains automatically stop when a strong quake happens. If you are stuck on one between stations when one hits, it could be hours before you get out. They can't exactly open the doors in the middle of nowhere and have you disembark because the train platforms are very high (4.5-5.5 ft.) and there's no way to get down when you're not at a station short of a special ladder. In California, you go up steps to get on the train. In Japan, not so much. I talked to some people who were trapped on trains for as long as three hours during the quake and the answer to "what happens if you have to go to the bathroom" (as there are none on standard trains and subways). The answer was a shoulder shrug.

After the big quake, I was always afraid of being trapped for hours on a train or subway after a big quake and ending up soiling myself and I won't miss that paranoia.

Won't Miss #463 - baker unfriendly butter

Image from Meg Milk's Snow Brand butter page. 

This is one of those dumb little things that probably matters more to me than nearly anyone else for a variety of reasons, but it remains a personal point nonetheless. I lived in Japan long enough to leave extended tourist mode and live a normal life. Part of normal life for me is cooking and baking for myself. One of the things about butter sold in Japan is that it is sold in big foil-wrapped 200 gram (1 cup) blocks. Sometimes you could buy a variety with some markings on the foil to allow you to awkwardly cut a tablespoon out, but most of the time there was nothing at all. I had forgotten that butter in America comes in stick and half-stick sizes with clear tablespoon markings along the package to make it quick and easy to measure for baking. Even if you bake by weight, it's still easier to manage sticks than one large wad. Also, if you use butter as a spread, you don't have to handle a large amount or leave it out in the butter dish all at once if you have small individually wrapped portions. In fact, given what fans the Japanese are of wrapping small amounts, this remained on of the few things which did not come in convenient smaller sizes.  

Though many things in Japan are arranged for maximum consumer convenience, the lack of a strong baking culture meant the butter wasn't one of them and I won't miss it.